Thursday, August 28, 2008

damn yankees

I know I'm gonna get a lot of heat for this, but...I'm saying it anyway: The Yankees suck.

And here's why.

Sheesh! As if I needed another reason to hate the Yankees- that overbearing, money-bloated, pseudo patriotic, holier than thou symbol of everything baseball isn't...

On Tuesday night, during the Yankees vs. Red Sox game in the Bronx, a Yankee fan attempting to leave his seat to go to the restroom (during the 7th inning stretch, for God's sake) was stopped by two of New York's finest, who told him he'd have to wait until after the cheesy recording of Kate Smith singing "God Bless America" was over. He replied that he didn't care about the song, he just had to use the restroom. The cops then reached over and pinned his arms behind his back, escorted him downstairs and shoved him out the front gate of the stadium, telling him to get out of the country if he didn't like it. WTF?!

As it turns out, Yankee Stadium has an actual regulation requiring that fans be held captive during the singing of patriotic songs. I kid you not!

A spokesperson for the NY Civil Liberties Union said this is a violation of constitutional rights. For its part, the NYPD's official statement said "The officers observed a male standing on his seat, cursing, using inappropriate language and acting in a disorderly manner while reeking of alcohol...".

Ever been to a game at Yankee Stadium? I have. Let's just say that statement describes about 40% of the fans on any given night. (60% if you're in the bleachers.)

But this poor schlub just needed to pee.

So there you have it.
Patriotism by force. Is that really the American Way?
That's why I hate the Yankees.

Also because my mother was born and raised in the Bronx, my father was from Massachussetts, and I grew up in Flushing, Queens. Everybody knows you can't be a Yankee fan and a Red Sox fan... so I say:

Let's go Mets!

P.S. To quote Crash Davis from the movie Bull Durham: "...I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter."

Yeah.


Tuesday, August 26, 2008

how to cope with junk mail


Thanks to my wanton spending habits fabulous credit rating, I receive tons of unsolicited credit card offers from companies like Capital One, American Express, Discover, Chase, and others every month. Frankly, it's beginning to piss me off. I've tried writing to them and calling them in an effort to stop the unnecessary destruction of millions of trees, to no avail. So, to keep from being buried alive, I've developed a strategy for clearing the decks and at the same time get a bit of satisfaction out of making them pay more for the privilege of asking me to allow them to help me purchase more useless crap I don't need and can't afford.

How to cope with junk mail in six easy steps

Step one: open envelope and remove all contents.

Step two: set aside postage paid return envelope. (Note that it's first class postage!)

Step three: tear remaining contents of envelope into tiny pieces.
(Don't forget the original envelope!)

Step three(a): I like to leave the section with my name intact, so they know who sent it...
but so far they haven't taken the hint. I'll get another offer from them tomorrow.

Step four: sprinkle tiny pieces liberally across desk.

Step five: carefully place all pieces into return envelope and seal.


Step six: disregard scary legal stuff on back of envelope; this is not directed at you. Note the customer locator code...this indicates that they will know who you are, just in case you insult them or something.

You're very welcome!

Saturday, August 23, 2008

a lazy afternoon


Does today seem like an exceptionally high gravity day to you? Just about everyone with four legs is snoozing away the late summer afternoon around here at Camp Cactus.


Abbie and Cooper have taken over our bed...


Chubbsie's lounging on the bedroom chair...


Maizy's quietly snoring away in the dining room...


and Frisco's out on the porch having a good, long nap.



As for me, I'm thinkin' of having a slice of
homemade blueberry pie.


I sure do love summer!

Monday, August 18, 2008

wag the dog

Is it just me, or does the whole nasty situation in Georgia look vaguely familiar?
Here's a photo borrowed from the front page of today's New York Times.

And by look, I mean it literally looks like something I've seen recently:



And no, you didn't miss anything. There hasn't been a serious uprising in Albania since the mid 1990s, although the state of their democracy remains fragile. This photo is from a movie made in 1997 called Wag the Dog. Rent it. It'll send chills down your spine, and make you question your perception of reality (If you haven't already!). Especially now. It also stars Dustin Hoffman and Robert DeNiro. And the poor Albanian refugee girl? Kirsten Dunst.

Reality or Hollywood? Who can tell?

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

a midweek meme...


Tag! I'm it!
g from Doves2day tagged me with a meme...and since I'm getting tired of digging up stuff for Wordless Wednesdays,  I guess I'll go ahead and oblige her. Here goes: 

Four things you should know about me before you invite me to your house:

1. I notice everything, except dust bunnies, dirt, and dog hair on the couch. I'm way too busy trying to figure out the exact paint color you used in your dining room. 

2. I'm a total klutz. Tell the kids to put away the skateboards and backpacks before I come over, because I'll definitely trip over them in the hall.
(See #1, above)

3. Ask me to help you with a home improvement project and I'll be over in a flash. I love group projects....mostly because it helps me to avoid the ones at our house.

4. I'm easily amused. Give me a glass of wine, a stoop (or front porch), some good conversation, and I'll be your friend for life.
That's about it...now I guess I've got to tag some people and pass it on.  Hmmm.

You're it:

Magpie Musing
Iris
All Adither
Hold That Thought
Gotta run!

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

chemistry 101



OK, people it's time to wake up and smell the coffee. We seem to have become a nation of lemmings sheep. This video is mind boggling! And maybe just a wee bit funny...especially if you've been guilty of going along with the flock, like I am occasionally.



So, how about it? Have you ever signed a petition without really understanding what it was you were signing?

(coffeepot head sculpture by Ivan McLean)

Monday, August 4, 2008

meanwhile, back at art camp...

Here's what we'll be making at camp today in Fibre Arts:



(A Swedish midsummer festival flower crown, modeled by Cooper)




God Dag! (That's Norwegian for "Good Day!)

Friday, August 1, 2008