Over at Rogue Brewery, they get even farther out: one of the co-founders is known as "Chief Wisdom Officer", and brewpub managers are called "Directors of Culture, Commerce and Tourism" (except for the manager of the Eugene pub, who prefers "Director of Hoppy Goodness".) The business card of Linda Barclay, merchandising manager at Rogue, who's in charge of T-shirt, mug and all non-beer sales, sports the moniker "Queen of Trash and Flash".
Or how about the publicist who calls himself an "Ego Enhancement Consultant"?
Here are a few titles I'd like to see added to some famous business cards:
George W. Bush
Lame Duck
Dick Cheney
Lame Duck Hunter,
Buckshot Division
Howard Stern
Pontificator of Pompous Trivialities
Bill O'Reilly
Liberal Baiting Specialist
Martha Stewart
Despot of Decorating Dogma
Ben Bernanke
Spare Change Distributor
Joel Osteen
Spiritual Capitalist
Bill Clinton
Chief Inspector,
Women's Anatomy Division
Sarah Palin
Archaic Paradigm Facilitator
Caroline Kennedy
Princess, Camelot Group
I could keep going on this subject all night! Got any good ones? What would yours be?
And mine? Considering my overall job description here at Camp Cactus, it'd probably read:
Cactus Petunia
Benevolent Dictator
3 comments:
I used to have on my business cards: Planetary Systems Analyst, and I do sometimes go by that.
It is my way of reminding people to think before leaping into the cultural concept that astrologers are fortune tellers, since astrologers are educated for years studying the planetary systems, and how they relate to the individual's moment of incarnation.
I love yours title, and I think it fits many moms around the world.
hmmm, I'll have to think about that ...
A favorite from "Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl":
In the Australian Philosophy Department sketch, when all of the Bruces are introduced and identified by the particular philosopher each one teaches at the university, the last Bruce is labeled "in charge of the sheep dip."
That's what I would like on my business card.
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