the world's going to hell in a hand basket, and there's probably an app to track it

I just read a short article in the Oregonian about a couple of local guys who are designing an app to monitor, track and pay kids for chores. Young entrepreneurs dads Oscar Goodson, 24, and Adam Bickford, 27, are developing an app that would take the uncomfortable exchange of cash for chores and sanitize it by completely removing the human interaction between parent and child.

The article goes on to describe how parents can create a list of chores and assign a monetary value to each chore. Kids can log in and mark off the chores as they are done, and once completed and verified, the parent can transfer money remotely to the child's debit card. The parent doesn't even have to be in the same room with the kid. Goodson and Bickford have even figured out how to keep kids from scamming the system. Bickford said, "As parents ourselves, even though our children are pretty young, we knew that kids are sheisty and parents would want some sort of visual verification if they can't verify with their own eyes." So the app will allow video and photo uploads for that.

Really, dude? Kids are sheisty? According to the article, your daughter is 3 years old.  Three.  If she's already scamming you, you're in for some big trouble when she's 15.

So what's wrong with this whole idea? Lest you think that I'm just an old fart and a Luddite to boot, I'll explain. It's not the fact that it's an app. I have nothing against them. There are useful apps for everything, from creating your own custom music playlists, to flashlights and compasses to help you find your way home in the dark. There are even apps to help you manage your apps.

The big problem here is that you believe you can keep your hands clean in the trenches of parenthood with one. By using an app to monitor your child, to set up the chores, to spy on her remotely to make sure she's behaving, to track her when she's out of your sight, you are setting her up to try and scam you. She will grow up believing you don't trust her, and that she needs constant monitoring to make sure she stays in line. She will feel that she shouldn't have to do anything unless she gets paid for it. You, on the other hand, think this will make your job easier. You can monitor everything from afar, and it's only a matter of time before someone invents a punishment app that doles it out for you.

 In 40 years, I have yet to see a paycheck for cooking, driving, cleaning, tutoring, and the countless other things I did just to keep the household running smoothly. Why should kids expect to?

We gave our kids an allowance every week. We didn't bribe them to do chores, homework or to behave. Sure, it was a big fat hassle to get them to do their chores. Yes, we even tried once to put a monetary value on putting out the garbage, folding laundry and emptying the dishwasher.  It didn't take long before it set up an even worse situation where they started to ask how much we'd pay them to do little things.  (On second thought, maybe kids are a bit sheisty.) It took us far away from our goal of trying to teach them to be cooperative, team players who understood the dynamic of shared labor for the good of the whole family.
It wasn't an easy thing to undo.

When I was a kid, I had chores to do every Saturday. My sister and I couldn't go out to play until they were done. We didn't have to negotiate over whether 25 cents was enough for dusting or watering the plants or cleaning a toilet. We did the chores because our mother MADE us do them. We never thought it was fair. (What kid ever does?) We never had a clue that she was trying to teach us to take responsibility and help out even if there was no monetary reward in the end.  The reward was supposed to be a sense of satisfaction over a job completed.

I realize that cash will soon be dead.  Unfortunately, debit and credit cards really don't help kids gain an understanding that an allowance is a finite thing. If you give a kid a dollar, when they've spent it, it's actually gone. It's not gone in the "virtual" sense. It's GONE. In the actual sense. When they 're old enough to understand that, they're old enough to learn how to manage a debit card. Using that criteria, I know a lot of adults who are not old enough.

How about it? Got any thoughts on paying kids to do chores?
I'll check in later… but now I have to go empty the dishwasher.

farewell, and thanks

"You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it."

~ Robin Williams ~

life in portland

yet another holiday!

Today is National Margarita Day!

Some folks think that margaritas should only be consumed on hot summer days on a patio overlooking the Pacific Ocean in Mexico. I say, what better time to celebrate a drink that says SUMMER, than in the bone chilling month of February? (Disregard this mention of bone chilling cold if you happen to live in warmer climes) I for one, am grateful for the opportunity dream about the warm days sometime in the future...
So in honor of this most auspicious day that thankfully, falls on a Saturday, I'd like to share my very favorite Margarita recipe, from a local joint here in Portland called Por que No?.

Cheers, amigos!

a melancholy thursday afternoon

Fog

The fog comes

on little cat feet.

It sits looking 

over harbor and city

on silent haunches

and then moves on.

- Carl Sandburg

a gray saturday, and an exercise in gratitude.

Some days, we all need a little reminder that our cups runneth over…

almost everyone who has ever worn them has asked this question at one time or another

Have you ever wondered what happened to all the mates to those single socks in your sock drawer?

Mankind has been pondering this mystery for...well, for as long as we've been wearing socks.

Aside from the fact that pairs or sets of objects automatically have a higher probability of being broken up simply due to the law of averages (or maybe it's Murphy's Law - I can never remember), single socks seem to disappear at a much higher rate than say, shoes or chopsticks. Everyone I know who has ever worn socks has eventually had one sock in a pair go missing, and usually they are never to be seen again. So where do they all go? And why socks? We've all seen the occasional single shoe on the freeway entrance ramp and wondered how it got there, but given the sheer number of missing socks people deal with in everyday life, the entrance ramps should be knee deep in them, right? Yet they're not in evidence anywhere.

(photo borrowed from here)

This conundrum has been puzzling me for some time now, so I've done what every other self-respecting person in the 21st century would do: I googled "missing socks".

It's a marvelous tool, Google. Back in the middle of the last century, my father was an editor and my mother was a teacher, and I grew up in a family where everyone was well-versed in the art of research. By around the age of six, all the Russell kids were expected to be able to look up words in the dictionary, and by the age of nine, capable of going to the library and conducting more in-depth research as needed. Fact checking is second nature to us Russells. Yet, Google did not exist back then, and Dad would have scoffed at the very notion of being able to type in a question and access more answers than you could imagine, but that is a story for another time...

So back to pondering the mystery of the missing socks.

What I found in my googling research is that there exists a wide variety of theories; some are totally out there and wild, but some sound so scientifically plausible and matter of fact that any normal person wouldn't even think to question them.  (Any regular readers of this blog have by now come to realize that normal does not apply here)

Here's what I found:
First up, the standard let's be serious and grounded about this: socks do not just "disappear" theories.

So why is this guy so bored?

• Scientific theory #1: Socks do not get lost in the dryer. The culprit is the washing machine. Supposedly, washing machine repairmen are always being called out to disentangle single socks from washing machine agitators. The recommendation is to put the socks at the very top of the load in the machine so they won't be pushed down to the bottom and tangled under the agitator. Personally, I've never found a missing sock under the agitator and nobody I know has either. And this theory doesn't explain the continuing loss of single socks in the age of front-loaders, which have no agitators at all.
• Scientific theory #2: Again, the washing machine is named as the culprit. If the socks are placed on top of the load, and the washer is overfilled, the socks (and sometimes even underwear) can float over the top of the washer tub when the machine is agitating and get sucked into the pump or get tangled in the motor. Other times they find their way into the drain. Or they can permanently reside  between the washer's basket and the machine housing. This still does not explain why socks go missing in houses with front loaders.
• Scientific theory #3: If you were to go right now and dismantle your dryer, you may find a few single socks, along with some underwear lying in a pile of lint under the dryer's tumbler. The theory is that small items like socks and bikini underpants make their way out of the dryer basket and into the blower housing via an open or loose lint screen. I'm not about to dismantle my dryer to disprove this one, but given the number of socks we've lost over the years, the blower housing would be so full of socks the dryer couldn't possibly work at all.

Now on to the less scientific, more commonly held beliefs:

• Unscientific theory #1: Inside your dryer vent lurks a worm hole, where individual socks are sucked in and spit out on the beach of the Island of Lost Socks. I like to think all my lost socks have been paired up in mixed marriages on a lovely beach somewhere, living happily ever after.
• Unscientific theory #2: Dryers can not only rearrange matter, they are also capable of short-range teleportation; single socks are transformed into coins and end up as spare change under your sofa cushions. Conversely, your lost car keys? They are now dryer lint. I'm not so sure about this one. If this theory were true, we would end up with random single socks we've never seen before.
• Unscientific theory #3: Weekly sacrifices must be made to the Laundry Gods.  This theory states that in order to keep things on an even keel, we must make sacrifices to the angry laundry gods, kind of like the sacrificial virgin being offered up to the angry volcano. Otherwise, by saving the socks by clipping them together or cleverly washing pairs in a mesh laundry bag in the effort to thwart the gods, you may end up inadvertently suffering their wrath. It could be a red t-shirt in a load of whites, or something worse. The laundry gods' wrath is not to be underestimated. What are a few missing socks compared to that?
• Unscientific theory #4: Tiny Ninjas come to steal your socks in the middle of the night. Here's a video explaining it all:

Personally, I have three cats, and I'm still missing socks.

• Unscientific theory #5: Evil Sock Monkeys are stealing socks to create a Sock Monkey Army hell bent on taking over the world. If you don't believe me, check out this photo:

(photo borrowed from this site)

In my research, I've also uncovered some historical evidence covered up for over 70 years, which seems to support this theory:

And I'm not the only one intrigued by this mystery. The Bureau of Missing Socks  is an organization solely devoted to unraveling the mystery of the single disappearing sock (no pun intended).

Of course, there is also some evidence that a new trend could be developing that could combat this age-old single sock problem:

Once celebrities get on the bandwagon, it could no longer be a sign of absent-mindedness or a disorganized household...it's now a Fashion Statement!

I think I'll go and take apart my dryer now.

life is good!

The weather has been beautiful here. The sun is shining, everyone is smiling, and spring is unfurling right right before my eyes. Yes, life is very good. 

the rites of spring

I know spring officially began a week or so ago, but up here in the Pacific Northwest, it ain't really spring 'till the sun comes out and the forecast looks like this:

there are other signs, too:

the Knuckleheads basking in the sun like the matched bookends that they are,

The plum trees are in full bloom,

I weeded the raised vegetable bed and found the biggest carrot I've ever seen

(here's another shot just for scale)

and the most important sign of spring? 

Walking around barefoot all afternoon!

Here's wishing everyone a warm and sunny spring, wherever you are!

it's another monday holiday!

It has just come to my attention that today is a National Holiday. It's not in honor of a past President or Civil Rights activist, or Nobel Prize winner, or a religious observance, or a celebration of an event in history. It's not even what you might call a "Hallmark" holiday. It could be quite a Significant Day for some (many of them live in my house, and are observing the holiday as we speak) and just another Monday for others.  

 It's National Nap Day. 

So, because I myself am not of the Napping persuasion, I'm reposting something I wrote a couple of years ago that seems a fitting tribute. To all you Napping types, I wish you sweet dreams, and to the rest of you dear readers I say, "Rock on!" And I hope this post doesn't lull you off to dreamland, unless of course that's what you were hoping for...

Nap Quest

 I got into a conversation about napping the other day with a couple of friends.  I know this sounds simplistic, but after taking an informal survey of a decidedly small segment of the population (do four people qualify as a focus group?) I've since come to the conclusion that the world is divided up into nappers and non-nappers.

Non-napper types generally feel that sleeping during the hours we're supposed to be awake and productive is wasteful. Time spent napping could be better utilized doing something productive, like checking your facebook page  balancing the checkbook, or  reading blogs emptying the dishwasher.  They employ slogans such as "Sleep is for the weak", or "I'll have plenty of time to sleep when I'm dead", along with copious amounts of caffeine to get them through the day.

A typical non-napper type getting her caffeine fix.

Nappers are generally divided into three camps: the Unabashedly Laid Back,  Guilt-Ridden Snoozers, and Master Nappers. The ULB's talk of the restorative effects of the 15-minute Power Nap. They quote studies that support their theories, and insist that scientists at Harvard have determined that a midday snooze reverses information overload. (wikipedia)  

The Guilt-Ridden Snoozers, on the other hand, also believe in the benefits of napping but due to a childhood spent under the influence of parents who adopted a strict work ethic during the Great Depression, they find it difficult to nap with a clear conscience. A typical GRS can usually be spotted in the prone position with an open book, magazine or newspaper on his or her chest. If caught dozing off, they will insist, "I was just resting my eyes!"

photo borrowed from here

And the third category of napper? Master Nappers are those who have achieved the highest level of Napology. See photos below:

A true Master Napper can nap anywhere, at any time.

This is known in the trade as a Napportunity.

The training to become a Master Napper 

must begin at an early age

and is successful only if practiced on a regular basis.

 Another hallmark of the Master Napper is the Group Nap

where three or more Master Nappers
meet to practice in a warm and cozy place.

Synchronized Napping 

is a highly developed art form

practiced by teams of Master Nappers.

MN's take Nap Form very seriously

but are sometimes mistaken for Unabashedly Laid Back Nappers.

I hope this post has helped to illuminate the plight of all misunderstood Nappers (yawn!). As it is only through understanding and education that we can promote tolerance for all.

Now I really must go and get another cup of coffee, because I'm suddenly feeling very sleepy.... 

Happy National Nap Day!

did you know?

Are you getting your minimum daily requirement?

tea?

For about a week, I've been under the weather with a nasty little head cold accompanied by a nagging cough. My self-prescribed treatment plan has included plenty of rest, steaming my head, sleeping semi-upright  with a lavender heat pack on my chest, cough syrup, and gallons and gallons of hot liquids.

I've had hot and sour soup, miso soup, ramen, red zinger tea, lemon zinger tea, ginger tea with honey and lemon, black tea, green tea, red tea and chamomile tea. And you know what? 

The tea that really hits the spot is very traditional, a tea your grandmother probably drank: Earl Grey. It's basically a black tea infused with oil of bergamot, derived from a type of very aromatic citrus fruit something like a cross between an orange and a lemon. The flavor is very floral, almost like lavender, and very soothing with honey and a bit of milk.

It's also the tea of choice for the captain of the Starship Enterprise, Jean Luc Picard...and the Captain knows best.

I'm feeling better already.

wishes for the new year

Let's try to savor the quiet time in December 

between the end of the old year and the beginning of a new one. 

May the coming year be filled 

with creativity, love, peace, prosperity and possibility!

xoxo,

Petunia

your friday inspiration

band: Porkka Playboys, Finland

video: Antti Koivisto

Go get creative this weekend!

getting old is not for the faint of heart

The other day I bent over to pull on my sandals, 

and now I'm walking around like this:

If this keeps up, pretty soon I'm going to have Boy Scouts trying to help me across the street.

Next week my friends and I 

are starting a new exercise regimen.

Last one in the pool's a rotten egg!

on 2012: notes from an eternal optimist

I've been giving a lot of thought to the various prophecies about the world ending in 2012. Some of my friends are deeply troubled by these predictions and are taking steps to prepare for dire circumstances they are sure are coming. They see the strife and hardship and natural disasters and anger that has been building in the recent past and believe these occurrences to be a fulfillment of ancient and not so ancient prophecies that foretell the world ending in a great cataclysm of fire and brimstone.

Anyone who reads a newspaper could tell you it doesn't take a scholar to figure out that we could very easily destroy the world many times over with weapons we already possess.

I believe that in these ancient prophecies told and retold for countless generations, there is a kernel of truth.

Sometime long ago, it's possible that a gifted and wise person foresaw an end to a way of life that would eventually become unsustainable, and, as in a child's game of "telephone", the prediction was embellished and misheard, and retold again and again and again, until the message became something vastly different and very much darker, than the original version.

{cartoon borrowed from this site}

Eternal optimist that I am, I believe we're on the cusp of something big. The world is experiencing huge growth and change. And as any parent of an adolescent will tell you, rapid growth and change is not always easy. In fact, it can be downright ugly.

As the parent of two former adolescents, (who have turned out quite well, I must say) I can assure you that--should we manage to live through mankind's adolescence--the best is yet to come.

Here's a video that sums it all up much better than I can:

Wishing you peace, prosperity, health, happiness and good will in the coming year,
your ridiculously optimistic pal,
Petunia  

do you believe?

Kris Kringle: You think I'm a fraud, don't you?
Dorey Walker: Fraud is a bit too strong of a word.
Kris Kringle: But you don't believe in me.
Dorey Walker: I believe that Christmas is for children.
Kris Kringle: Well your daughter doesn't believe in me, either.
Dorey Walker: I don't think that there's any harm in not believing in a figure that many do acknowledge to be a fiction.
Kris Kringle: Oh, but there is. I'm not just a whimsical figure who wears a charming suit and affects a jolly demeanor. You know, I... I... I'm a symbol. I'm a symbol of the human ability to be able to suppress the selfish and hateful tendencies that rule the major part of our lives. If... you can't believe, if you can't accept anything on faith, then you're doomed for a life dominated by doubt. 


Well, I think we all know how this ends, don't we?

i'm not buying it

It's  a crazy, crazy time we're living in...a time where people all over the world are rising up and protesting corporate greed and manipulation in large numbers - risking arrest and personal injury to send a message that it is MOST. DEFINITELY. NOT. okay for corporations to make huge profits at the expense of  the very people who buy their products.

On the other hand - many, many Americans will be abandoning their family tables tomorrow evening to shop until they drop, instead of spending time enjoying a holiday in which we are supposed to be giving thanks for all that we have.

Many retailers will be open for business on Thanksgiving this year. This is not new. For years, most supermarket and drugstore chains have had at least limited hours on Thanksgiving, but this has historically been more about getting last minute items like whipping cream or pepto bismol  than deep discounts on flat screen TVs or the latest must-have video games.

A Macy's spokeswoman said “There are many associates who would prefer to work this time as they appreciate the flexibility it affords their schedules for the holiday weekend." And a spokesman for Target said, "...we've heard from our guests that they are excited." 
Target evidently didn't bother to ask their employees how they felt about working on Thanksgiving. One of them started this petition.
At least Brian Dunn, the CEO of Best Buy said, "I feel terrible", about having to open on Thanksgiving.
Huh.
I for one, am not buying it.

I'll be hanging out, enjoying the holiday with my good friends and family, for whom I am incredibly thankful. And I won't even be anywhere near a Walmart or Target or Best Buy or Macy's.

Here's wishing you all a happy, healthy and all around wonderful Thanksgiving.

11111

(photo borrowed from this site)

All Saints Day is a holy day in many Christian religions, commemorating all saints, both known and unknown.
I was raised a Catholic, though as an adult I've adopted a veritable potpourri of spiritual and philosophical beliefs gathered from the tenets of Buddhism, Christianity, Judaism, Hinduism, Islam and Science Fiction. I guess you could consider me a kind of "spiritual freethinker."

I still like the saints, though. My favorite is probably St. Francis of Assisi, the patron saint of both animals and nature. He took a vow of extreme poverty after being raised in relative affluence and tried for the rest of his life to walk in the footsteps of Jesus, promoting peace and love in his every encounter. Francis loved all creatures of the earth and took it upon himself to take care of those less fortunate than himself.  He was known to have preached to hundreds of birds to be thankful to God for their wonderful clothes, for their independence, and for God's care.
He was also a pacifist. During the Fifth Crusade, Francis decided to go to Syria to try and convert the Moslems himself. In the middle of a battle, he decided the simplest thing to do would be to go directly to the sultan to make peace and argue his case. After an apparently persuasive conversation, the sultan told him, "I would convert to your religion--which is a beautiful one--but we would both be murdered." 

I think St. Francis was the original hippie. Maybe that's why I feel so drawn to him.

The Catholic church recognizes many other patron saints-- individuals who are assigned as special protectors or advocates for occupations, situations, or places.  I kind of like the idea that there's a special saint you can ask for help with specific problems...I remember reciting this prayer to St. Anthony of Padua (Patron of Lost Items) when I'd misplaced something as a kid:
"Tony, Tony, please look around; {something} is lost and must be found!"
Invariably, after repeating this prayer over and over, the item would miraculously turn up.

So in the spirit of All Saints Day, and the Catholic tradition, here is a short list of Patron Saints for your edification:
Saint Anxieté  Patron of Impossible Deadlines & Foamy Coffee
Saint Bernardine     Patron of Advertising
Saint Concepta     Patron of Brainstorming and Procrastination
Saint Jude     Patron of Lost Causes and Desperate Situations
Saint Martin de Porres Patron of Hairdressers & Social Justice
Saint Clare of Assisi      Patron of Television
Saint Rita        Patron of the Impossible
Saint Honoré  Patron of Bakers, Florists & Pastry Chefs

Click here for more fascinating information on cool patron saints.

flashbacks

Some incidents stick in your mind and heart, even when they don't directly affect you personally. For some, certain dates bring up anxieties and emotions buried just beneath the surface of daily life. For others, it could be a major earthquake or tsunami or hurricane or tornado. You never really know when or why or which events will stir up something deep within you, they just happen to strike a chord, and that chord resonates throughout your very being.

When a large truck rumbles by and rattles the windows, or I'm stuck in traffic under a freeway overpass, it sparks a flashback to October 1989 and a collapsed double-decker freeway in Oakland, while at home in San Francisco my husband and children and I huddled in a doorway riding out the 7.2 earthquake that caused it.

Watching coverage of Barack Obama wading into crowds of people during the last presidential campaign, my heart leapt into my throat more than once at the dangers he faced. It launched an emotional  return to 1968 and the tragedies of the deaths of Robert Kennedy and Martin Luther King. 

I can no longer hear a plane flying low overhead without it triggering a memory of that warm September morning ten years ago, of the sight of airplanes cutting through clear blue New York skies to shatter so many lives. How, for the next week, the skies all across the country were eerily quiet while all air traffic was suspended.

Flashbacks are painful, yes, but they serve as reminders to savor and appreciate the good in the world, and the importance of working to change the bad stuff, however we can in our daily lives.

We wish that we could go back and prevent those tragedies, but we can't. The only hope is to move forward with renewed purpose and optimism, and to never forget those who gave up everything for those principals.